A Year of Memories_Ups and Downs

The next few weeks were the craziest ups and downs I’ve ever been through. After every class I came to my room balling my eyes out ready to go back home. But after every fun activity with my roommates, hallmates and new friends, I got my confidence and excitement back.

Weekends were the best part. There were endless dances and mixers. There were late nights of watching movies and eating ice cream with the girls, early morning expeditions to get coffee, and many exciting things.
Then there were the weekdays. There were still late nights, but usually with textbooks and flashcards. And there were still early mornings, but it was expeditions of rushing to finish homework. I earned my first failing grades these weeks and I also pulled a couple all nighters.

But I also had some of the greatest sense of accomplishments. Whenever I took a test, regardless of the final grade, I felt accomplished. I had studied as much as I could, read as many pages as possible, memorized everything that went into my brain, and I had done my absolute best on the test. After a test, just knowing that I had simply understood the material made me happy.

During these weeks I also realized why I enjoyed learning. It obviously wasn’t because I was good at it; I was no longer an A student. It wasn’t because learning was always fun; sometimes I had to just sit there and read a textbook. I learned that I enjoyed learning because I liked that I could figure out new things on my own, with the help of my teachers, and that I was become more knowledgeable.

I also learned what success was. Or rather, I learned how to define success for myself. I realized that grades, SAT scores, and numbers of volunteer hours weren’t everything. True they are all very important, but I realized that those were all other people’s ratings of success on me. I had to form my own and rate my own success. This led me to set my priorities and think about what truly mattered to me. This was a very humbling experience because I realized that others mattered much more than I did. I realized that sometimes it wasn’t always about how I felt or what I wanted, but how to could be there for my family and friends.

More of what I learned is to come...