A Year of Memories_First Weekend

After all of my belongings found their new homes in my new room, the “Triple” set off for a long weekend of smiling activities. What I mean is, we attended a number of activities that forced us to smile and make small talk with our new class members. Dances, picnics, ice cream socials, ice breaking activities, and even just time in the cafeteria. All this time was designed for us to meet new people and learn names that we would forget in the next minute.

Thinking back, I wonder how my introverted personality survived that weekend of outgoing hellos. But I have a feeling all of the shyness was left behind because everyone had gone into survival mode. All 320 of us were in a new environment knowing almost no one. We quickly realized that we would have to spend the next two years here, not as just a school, but a home and community. So we would all have to find our niches, no outcasts. So we all fought to find friends. Small talk became under cover interviews and we weeded through the other 319 students to find our best friend.

While trying to find our friends, we also had to sell ourselves. In a matter of minutes, we had to show the other person how great of a person we were. This weekend was full of first impressions. And we all did our best to make them good impressions. This caused us to really figure out who we were. In order to sum up our best traits in 5 minutes, we had to know what our good qualities were. We also had to figure out what types of friends we wanted because our friends took part in defining us.
Although this weekend was hectic and scattered, many of us learned one of the most important things, who we are and how we define ourselves. For me this was a huge confidence boost because I realized I was in control of my life. I learned that I was capable of deciding what type of person I wanted to be and changing myself, for the better.

A Year of Memories_Move-In Day

On August 15 at 9 am. My parents and I were sitting in our car packed with boxes, clothes and endless plastic bags. We were stalling in the parking lot waiting for the “okay” to start unloading. Once the “okay” came, we started taking all of my belongings to the 2^nd Bryan, my new “home”. I moved into a tiny room with two other girls, Annie and Grace. When I first saw them in the midst of all the bags and paper towels, I never even fathomed how close we would become, and how important they would become to me. For now, we were focused on finding a place for all of our belongings and making everything fit. After my parents helped me hang my clothes and build the last bookshelf, it was time for them to leave.

I had planned that I wouldn’t cry, since it would be like summer camp. I would see them in 3 weeks when I went home, and I could video chat with them whenever I wanted to. But when I walked them to the elevator and gave the final hugs, something felt weird inside. I was actually moving out of the house now. Even though I would go back for breaks, this new place would now be my “home” for the next year. Whether it was that feeling, or tears in my mom’s eyes, I felt a bubble growing in my throat so I decided to leave as quickly as possible. A quick hug for my mom, and an encouraging pat on the back from my dad, and they left.

After my parents went down the elevator, there were a few tears, but I remembered that I had to walk into a room, my room, with two other girls in it and I had to act mature. I had to prove to them, and myself, that I could handle moving out. And after all, the next few weeks would be full of first impressions and I was determined to make good ones.

Final Exams

One of the most different things, as a high school, about NCSSM is that we have finals week much like a college. For a whole week, actually 4 days, there are nothing but exams and study periods. The exams are spaced out to three a day, and if you get lucky, you get one whole free day to do nothing! -- I mean, to study!--

First trimester, finals week was terrible. Obviously. 4 days of non stop cramming and testing is not appealing for anyone. I remember one day I even had a melt down and cried on the phone with my mom for a couple minutes. NCSSM academics is just so fast paced that trying to study for a whole trimester's worth of material is very overwhelming. And then there were the seniors. The seniors loved finals week. Because finals week means extra good food, no classes, no homework, sleep-ins, good food, and really good food. As a first trimester junior, I couldn't understand how they were studying and relaxing at the same time. I felt so unprepared and felt like I had wasted a whole trimester, and they felt so free and were excited to start the next trimester.

This week is finals week. And I am now a third trimester junior. After 2 tries, I have finally learned how to not have a melt down during finals week. The secret? Not falling behind during the trimester. And learning to calculate your predicted class grade before and after the exam.

We are two days into finals week and I am doing just fine. Of course there is that stressful, "I'm going to fail" feeling a couple hours before the exam, however, I feel much more prepared. As I study, rather than realizing how much I've missed in class due to daydreaming, I feel more and more confident about how much I actually know the material. This confidence has allowed me to slack off... slightly, and I should get back to studying, but it has also allowed me to keep from stressing out. The biggest thing I learned about finals, is that it is not just another way for teachers to torture you. Final exams are a way to prove to your professor how much you've learned. Knowing that before the trimester you knew nothing about the subject, and now knowing every detail about it, should be quite rewarding. Now back to studying to keep my record of a meltdown-less finals week...

Discovery Day

I just got back from helping out with the school’s Discovery Day. Discovery Day is one of three days when all NCSSM applicants come on campus to tour the campus. to take a math and writing test and also to learn more information about the school. Senior leaders from Admissions, called Student Ambassadors, coordinate this day but any junior can come to help. I, wanting to be a future Student Ambassador, decided to help.

Last night I had lain in bed thinking about my Discovery Day last year, but today was a completely different experience. Last year I remember being extremely nervous. I was worried about the test I would have to take, the campus being large and confusing, and the questions I would have to strain to make up to ask the current students. This year, I was conversely very excited.

I started out my morning at 6:15, got ready, and stood out in the parking lot. Yes, outside. While outside, about 60 other juniors and I followed NCSSM tradition. Each morning of Discovery Day and any open houses, junior students go out and welcome every guest. "Welcome to Science and Math! Have a nice day!" So this morning we did the same. When I should have felt tired and cold, I felt anxious to meet the sophomores, and yes I was freezing, but that channeled into a positive energy and made me smile at each person walking by.

After everyone came in and registered, we held up colored sheets of paper with our group letters and lead our groups to each of their sessions. This may sound like a boring job, but while walking around campus with letters about our heads, we had many conversations with eager parents and edgy students. We answered questions about cafeteria food, workloads, and many other aspects of NCSSM life. I felt the sense of admiration from the visitors and at first this made me feel uncomfortable, but eventually I decided to let this feeling to serve as an award and compliment for my hard work and did my best to be friendly and welcoming and helpful for the students and parents.

Now I am absolutely exhausted. The word exhausted and developed a completely new meaning after this day. But I also feel regenerated and proud to be an NCSSM student. One student told me that she wanted to get into the school because she wanted to be with other students who were eager to learn but was also nervous because the school was so prestigious. I had heard all this from many people before I came here, but I actually understood what this meant today. I learned to be more thankful of the events that have happened in my life, and of all of the people who are supporting me. Today was not only a learning day for the applicants, but a learning and reflecting day for me as well.

Home Sweet Home

Something I’ve learned at NCSSM is about homesickness. Although I prepared myself about leaving home ever since I thought about coming here, I never knew how much I would actually miss home. It might sound babyish to say that I just miss my parents, friends, and home. But there is no other way to explain it. At first I tried to blame it on the fact that I simply didn’t like NCSSM and that home was a much better place. But as time went on and I realized that it was not completely true, I decided I just had the case of none other than homesickness. The symptoms are very simple. You just miss everything and become nostalgic.

I’ve decided that this feeling isn’t anything to oppress because trying to hide it is not possible. With this new attitude I’ve realized that it is much easier to deal with homesickness. Whenever I feel down I can just find ways to make myself feel better and move on. When before I used to stress about my feelings and try to figure out what was happening to me. I’m still in the process of figuring things out, but I’m glad that I’m learning about living away from home now so that I can prepare for college and pretty much the future.

This feeling has also made me more thankful for my home and loving parents. Whenever I do go back during breaks or see my parents, I try to enjoy myself more and also be a better daughter for them. Eventhough I've learned what homesickness feels like, I've also learned to be thankful of the people most near me and those I has taken for granted most of my life. Thank you mom and dad.

Learning everyday

Although I’ve learned to do titrations and the causes of each war, one of the most important things I’ve learned at NCSSM is why I get an education.

I remember absolutely hating NCSSM the first couple weeks. I didn’t understand anything in class and my grades were dropping everyday. I started to wondering, “why did I come to a school 300 miles away from my family just to get bad grades and not get sleep while the teachers didn’t even teach us properly?” After a few weeks I figured out that the teachers weren’t trying to pour knowledge into our brains and help us get into Ivy’s, they were trying to guide us in the right directions so we could learn for ourselves and find joy in learning.

For example, in calculus we were given a lab that told us to do these simple calculations. After a couple minutes of pointless math we started to figure out an easier method to use. I thought, “Why didn’t the teacher just tell us this in the first place?” At the end of the worksheet, we were told that the method we figured out was in fact the chain rule of derivatives. An actual rule that a mathematician had found hundreds of years ago. This gave me a great sense of accomplishment; I then realized what our teachers were doing.

This way of investigating the subject matter makes me much more eager to learn, which is, in the end, why I’m getting an education. Learning information and facts isn’t why I wake up and go to my classes every day; the pleasure I get from figuring things out and becoming more knowledgeable is.

Independence

As I was thinking about my family and friends back home, I realized what people meant about becoming independent once you leave home. During the summer before I came to NCSSM when people told me that I would have to learn to be independent, I just let those words go in one ear and out the other. I thought as a mature young adult I was already very independent and self motivated.

I was thinking of all the times my friends and parents were there to console and motivate me. Often times I did not even have to tell them I needed help, we were just always together and they knew without me telling them. After coming here I realized that now, I was not just living alone, but so far away from them that if I wanted their help, I would have to reach out to them. The side of independence that I’m starting to learn is that I wont always have people waiting to help and comfort me, but rather I need to ask them and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I am learning that I can no longer be as dependent on someone because of we’re physically apart. At the same time, I will always have people around me to support me, I just have to learn to reach out to them.